haters, supporters, and self-motivation.

I ranted about this on Twitter (and slightly less so on Facebook) a few days ago, but it is still nagging me so I need to blog it out.

I have always hated the whole concept of keeping "friends close and enemies closer" because 1) having enemies is way too much energy (cut them loose and keep it moving!) and 2) if you're that concerned about people backstabbing you then maybe you're a jerk who needs to reevaluate what you're doing... or you're just paranoid and need some help. Probably a little bit of both. Holding court with people who dislike you to the point of earning the title "enemy" is stupid, and in keeping them around just ensures that you will always have negativity in your life. Only masochists want this. Are you an emotional masochist? I sincerely hope not.

The related phrase that goes with this (and that I equally despise) is "Let your haters be your motivators." Dude, seriously? If the only thing that keeps you going is the idea that other people want you to fail, then you have problems. Motivate yourself! Chances are, people don't care about you enough to even notice what you're doing. Everyone has their own stuff going on, so get on yours, too. Checking for "haters" and making sure your "hater blockers" are shined up will only leave you alone with clean sunglasses. It won't do anything to get you to your goals.

I'll even take it this far: If you need your haters to be your motivators, then you don't deserve what you want. If you don't have the drive to try something in a vacuum and go for what you want when no one is looking, then you don't really want it. Either that, or you're not ready to get it. The foundations for success are built when no one is looking.

I mean, look at me: This is my second real blog post. I have zero followers. Maybe this will become popular and folks will find this posting buried under other content, but maybe not. Of course I would prefer the former, but I'm ok with it either way because it is mine and I'm doing this for me. I'm not blogging because other people said I shouldn't (or should, for that matter). In fact, I can't remember an instance where someone told me I couldn't do something that I really wanted... not that I would have listened to them anyway. I don't think I have ever had "haters", but if I did, I was too busy doing my own thing to pay them any mind.

This is not to say that I don't have trusted people to bounce ideas off of. Social support is valuable for anything, and I am grateful for my friends and family who I can turn to when I need them. But I also know that acting on the idea is ultimately up to me. I am the only person responsible for making my dreams come true.

The moral of the story is this: Always go for what you want, but if you need an audience for your success then you don't really want it.

xo,
Linds