haters, supporters, and self-motivation.

I ranted about this on Twitter (and slightly less so on Facebook) a few days ago, but it is still nagging me so I need to blog it out.

I have always hated the whole concept of keeping "friends close and enemies closer" because 1) having enemies is way too much energy (cut them loose and keep it moving!) and 2) if you're that concerned about people backstabbing you then maybe you're a jerk who needs to reevaluate what you're doing... or you're just paranoid and need some help. Probably a little bit of both. Holding court with people who dislike you to the point of earning the title "enemy" is stupid, and in keeping them around just ensures that you will always have negativity in your life. Only masochists want this. Are you an emotional masochist? I sincerely hope not.

The related phrase that goes with this (and that I equally despise) is "Let your haters be your motivators." Dude, seriously? If the only thing that keeps you going is the idea that other people want you to fail, then you have problems. Motivate yourself! Chances are, people don't care about you enough to even notice what you're doing. Everyone has their own stuff going on, so get on yours, too. Checking for "haters" and making sure your "hater blockers" are shined up will only leave you alone with clean sunglasses. It won't do anything to get you to your goals.

I'll even take it this far: If you need your haters to be your motivators, then you don't deserve what you want. If you don't have the drive to try something in a vacuum and go for what you want when no one is looking, then you don't really want it. Either that, or you're not ready to get it. The foundations for success are built when no one is looking.

I mean, look at me: This is my second real blog post. I have zero followers. Maybe this will become popular and folks will find this posting buried under other content, but maybe not. Of course I would prefer the former, but I'm ok with it either way because it is mine and I'm doing this for me. I'm not blogging because other people said I shouldn't (or should, for that matter). In fact, I can't remember an instance where someone told me I couldn't do something that I really wanted... not that I would have listened to them anyway. I don't think I have ever had "haters", but if I did, I was too busy doing my own thing to pay them any mind.

This is not to say that I don't have trusted people to bounce ideas off of. Social support is valuable for anything, and I am grateful for my friends and family who I can turn to when I need them. But I also know that acting on the idea is ultimately up to me. I am the only person responsible for making my dreams come true.

The moral of the story is this: Always go for what you want, but if you need an audience for your success then you don't really want it.

xo,
Linds

resolution time!

I guess I missed the memo about how only losers make new years resolutions...

For the past week, I've seen posts on Twitter and Facebook about how lame it is to want to make changes in 2012. They all come from people who post inspirational/motivational nonsense all year, so I find it a little weird that they are now saying that people who choose a specific date as the catalyst for change are losers. I get what they are saying: If you really want to make a change there is no point in waiting... but if you aren't ready for that type of immediacy then picking the start of a new year is perhaps the least arbitrary thing to do. (Second least arbitrary date: your birthday.)

I think making resolutions for the new year is healthy and fun and something that you should do if you want to... so I am! (No shaming me, folks!) Since I kinda love who I am on the inside and I already have a gym membership so take care of the outside, mine are more goals than resolutions. Ok, here goes...

1. Actually use my gym membership. Right now we're on a bi-weekly plan, so anything above that would be considered a success. 
2. Finalize my dissertation topic and have my proposal written. This is a tall order since I'm not even a candidate yet, but I don't want to be in school forever, so I have to get on it. 
3. Have my proposal accepted. This has very little to do with me, but hopefully my advisors will like it!
4. Pay off the credit card that doesn't have rewards points, then replace it with one that does. Pretty self explanatory, no?
5. Find a source of income that will allow me to pay off that credit card. Being a doc student means I can't get a real job, but I'll find a way... 
6. Create a better school/life balance. I haven't partied (like, really partied) since my birthday. In October. This has to change.  
7. Don't stress. It's not worth it. Finals reminded me that I don't handle stress well, so avoiding that would be best for me and everyone else in my life.
8. Have ZERO gluten attacks. 
9. Take a real vacation that isn't motivated by a conference or a family reunion. 
10. Drop a mix tape. (Not really, I've just always wanted to say that!)

So that's pretty much it. I will probably add more or revise these once 2012 actually gets going. That's usually the way this thing goes, which is why I usually reach all of my goals. 2011 wasn't the greatest year in the world, but it is ending well. Here's to hoping that 2012 only gets better!

xo,
Linds