taking my own advice.

I'm more adept at giving advice instead of seeking it, but even the best of us need a little boost sometimes. My inspiration station serves this purpose rather well. Whenever I hear something or see something that strikes me in the right way, it goes on the board. And really, it's a random board. Right now there are quotes from John Wooden (a legendary basketball coach), Albert Einstein (a famous genius), and Tamra Barney (a real housewife from Orange County). Sometimes, it is all hip hop lyrics (typically in the Rick Ross "hustle hard" vein). Other times, I have more of a "don't give up" vibe. It just depends on the day... and time of the semester!

<<<-------- But this one is my favorite. It's a Lindsay Granger original, and it is something that I need to see everyday.

I have a problem with having really good ideas but not following through on them. There are times when I jokingly blame ADHD for this (if you follow me on twitter, you'll see me tweet "ADHD on a million" quite a few times when deadlines are looming!), but that's not real. I don't actually have the disorder. I do, however, suffer from a high level of perfectionism that (among other things) makes it hard for me to do things when there is a large chance of not succeeding. In terms of writing papers, I can't get going until I know exactly what I'm going to write about. Then, I have to constantly remind myself that 'it's just a draft' or else I'll keep editing before it's finished... which delays the paper until the last minute, then makes me dissatisfied with the final product. Honestly, I think that what saves me and my GPA is that I'm a good writer and a better editor. But still, never being satisfied with your own work is not a good look.

In terms of real life stuff, this perfectionism stymies my efforts at 'going big.' I mean, what if I fail? To me, that's the scariest thing ever. I'm not afraid of public speaking. I see death as an inevitability. But failure? Nope. Not an option. But, since it's not an option, I tend not to take risks where that could be an option. It is something that I am actively working on. For example, one of my personal goals of this blog is to just write without caring about who reads it. I mean, yeah, I hope I gain an audience and I hope I can change some minds and contribute to the conversation, but it's not a must. I won't gage the success or failure of this endeavor by not meeting these goals. At least, I won't try to.

So here I am, trying to follow my own advice. It's time to stop letting the idea that I have to be perfect at everything paralyze me from doing the things that I want to do. That I need to do. That I'm perfectly capable of doing. And believe me, there is a lot that I want to do! Will I accomplish all of it? Probably not. But without going for anything, I won't do anything.

Time to let myself be great. You should do the same.

summer living. summer life.

Spring semester is finally winding down and I'm starting to think about summer. Heeding the words of my advisor ("Breaks are just breaks from class, not from school"), I'm not expecting this to be the carefree existence of last summer. I have a class to take (thankfully, just one), plus research, plus my candidacy paper, so I know that I'll be putting in work. This is a given and I'm not against it. But I need to make time for fun.

Not to sound dramatic, but this school year has been zero fun... And this past semester in particular has been so much less fun than I've had in a super long time. I'm not looking for a replay. Sitting at my desk, drinking tea, and writing papers has been my routine for the last few months, and I'm so over it. Simply put, my social life has flatlined. I can go days where the only time I "talk" to my friends is via text, Twitter, or Facebook. THIS IS NOT OKAY!! Even though I skew introvert, I need people in my life. I mean, human contact needs to come in more forms than cashiers at Starbucks and Whole Foods, right? I vote yes.

Since I'm not at baller-status (yet), I won't be able to party it up every night. (Plus, I'm not 22 anymore and my liver can't take partying it up every night... or even every other night. Sad.) The school things I have to do are rather major and if I screw up this past year will turn out to be a waste, so I need to be smart about this. Next summer, I'll be finished with classes and working full-time somewhere while doing dissertation-y things. You know, being an adult again. This could possibly be my last real summer in a long time (eek!), so I have to make it count. And I have to get a tan. This last one is a must and a half.

I say all of that to say this: My main goal for the summer is to live again. Hang with friends. Dine outdoors. Party on rooftops. Chill in the Hamptons. I need to have a life, yo! There are very few things better than summer in NYC, and I plan to take full advantage.

... Oh, and I also plan to blog more. For reals this time.

resolution time!

I guess I missed the memo about how only losers make new years resolutions...

For the past week, I've seen posts on Twitter and Facebook about how lame it is to want to make changes in 2012. They all come from people who post inspirational/motivational nonsense all year, so I find it a little weird that they are now saying that people who choose a specific date as the catalyst for change are losers. I get what they are saying: If you really want to make a change there is no point in waiting... but if you aren't ready for that type of immediacy then picking the start of a new year is perhaps the least arbitrary thing to do. (Second least arbitrary date: your birthday.)

I think making resolutions for the new year is healthy and fun and something that you should do if you want to... so I am! (No shaming me, folks!) Since I kinda love who I am on the inside and I already have a gym membership so take care of the outside, mine are more goals than resolutions. Ok, here goes...

1. Actually use my gym membership. Right now we're on a bi-weekly plan, so anything above that would be considered a success. 
2. Finalize my dissertation topic and have my proposal written. This is a tall order since I'm not even a candidate yet, but I don't want to be in school forever, so I have to get on it. 
3. Have my proposal accepted. This has very little to do with me, but hopefully my advisors will like it!
4. Pay off the credit card that doesn't have rewards points, then replace it with one that does. Pretty self explanatory, no?
5. Find a source of income that will allow me to pay off that credit card. Being a doc student means I can't get a real job, but I'll find a way... 
6. Create a better school/life balance. I haven't partied (like, really partied) since my birthday. In October. This has to change.  
7. Don't stress. It's not worth it. Finals reminded me that I don't handle stress well, so avoiding that would be best for me and everyone else in my life.
8. Have ZERO gluten attacks. 
9. Take a real vacation that isn't motivated by a conference or a family reunion. 
10. Drop a mix tape. (Not really, I've just always wanted to say that!)

So that's pretty much it. I will probably add more or revise these once 2012 actually gets going. That's usually the way this thing goes, which is why I usually reach all of my goals. 2011 wasn't the greatest year in the world, but it is ending well. Here's to hoping that 2012 only gets better!

xo,
Linds